This book is a collection of short but interesting stories about the struggles that women go through to find love in the Lagos dating scene. Truly, a large percentage of the testosterone gender in this city are indeed “mad” and Damilare Kuku in this book wittingly underscores this fact. We see different relatable stories ranging from narcissists to serial cheats to opportunists to fairly married men etc.
The first story, “Cuck-Up” is about a woman whose deadbeat husband manipulated her into sleeping with another man for money and then gaslighted her for it whereas he was also cheating on her with numerous young girls . Imagine a man having the audacity to spend your money and still treat you badly and cheat on you. Wild! The end of the story gave me butterflies in my stomach as she realized her worth and told his family members, ” “One last thing—if Lukumon doesn’t move out of this house, I will cut off his penis and use it for money rituals.” Lol, I love it for you sis! You’ve finally seen the light.
Another story that made me chuckle was “International Relations” . This sister gave up on the regular “fine boys” of Lagos – you know,the 6ft tall,dark and handsome model gods of Instagram. She decided to settle for a pot bellied oyinbo man with garlic breath who will spend money on her. She also needed him to be ugly or plain looking so that he’ll be “grateful for dating” her. After several failed attempts to get a decent oyibo man, she finally found one in her client, Apostol, who turned out to be a controlling jerk. She gave up her search because she realized that, nearly all men in Lagos are actually mad, oyibo or not.
In “Side-Lined” , I wasn’t expecting anything different than what played out at the end. I meannnn who dates a 30+ Lagos man who constantly travels and has camera phobia and doesn’t suspect that he is married? or at least fairly married? This man was steady splurging on this aunty and enjoying premium intimate congress and sis was thinking she has found the one. Eeeya, you were also not informed?
“A Lover’s Vendetta” shows you the depth of wickedness in the heart of the average Lagos man. Dele married Orode and after years of marriage they couldn’t bear a child. This man made her feel like she was the problem and constantly paid doctors to lie to her despite knowing that he was infertile. That’s the height of wickedness! Ah! Lagos men are wicked(many of them sha), run from them. Don’t say I didn’t do anything for you.
“The Gigolo from Isale Eko” is the story of a Playboy who dated and even went ahead to marry various women just to take advantage of what they had to offer. They were his ladder to success. He was the typical “gold digger” . He married one for an American passport, another for a government contract. You see what I’m saying? There is madness in the Lagos air.
“First times” portrays the story of a naive teenage girl who fell in love and married the first man who gave her butterflies in her stomach. This man was a liar, a cheat and an absolute scum who never gave her orgasms. In the many years they dated and even married, he was constantly cheating, leeching on her money and causing her numerous headaches. The joy I felt when her eyes finally opened is unexplainable. Eventually, she fell in love with her driver who was a far better choice. I love the way she threw the yeye husband out after she filed for a divorce, good riddance to bad rubbish!
I won’t spill all the tea because I want you to read this book. It’s such an interesting and enlightening book. There are several other stories like the pastor’s wife who wanted to protect her unfaithful husband even when she knew the truth, the upcoming artiste who fell in lust with the friend of his “Instagram baddie” etc. This book also shines light on gay men who marry women and starve them sexually just to uphold their reputation in society. This was shown in “beard gang”. It also talks about rape and the traumatic effect it has on the survivor. It’s a scar that never really heals and it takes the grace of God to try and move on and live with that reality.
“Nearly all men in Lagos are mad” is such a masterpiece because of its relatability. The stories in the book are such that if you’ve not experienced such, you know someone who has or you’ve heard a similar story somehow. It’s really not far from the truth, Lagos is a jungle and nearly all the men in Lagos are mad.
If you would love to read the book, here’s a link where you can get it. Here
Hi there! My name is Oyewo Opeyemi. I’m a student and a model. I love food, chocolates and the baby girl lifestyle. When I’m not on social media posting modelling content or memes you’d find me in the library reading law books. Also, follow me on Instagram @fhaavor_